


deserving happiness

by shiromantic



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drunk Texting, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Pining, alvis is an art student and kallian is law/business major, idk this fandom needed more bs like this, the college au nobody wanted??? it's here, they fall in love???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 14:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8018368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiromantic/pseuds/shiromantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You know, you think you’re an enigma. You think you’ve got everybody wrapped around your little finger and you act like you know how everything is going to play out in your little game, but when you end up becoming a player instead of an observer, you have no idea what to do, do you?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	deserving happiness

**Author's Note:**

> my first ao3 fanfic and it's kallvis!!!!  
> idk i feel that's it underrated in this fandom so i decided to write a long, cheesy college au fanfic so that everybody can know how much i love this rare pair  
> thanks for actually giving this mess of a fanfic a chance !!

Alvis always warranted attention wherever he went. He supposed it was to be expected – not many men out there can be described to have long, dark brown hair, incredibly attractive, and constantly adamant to wear fur lined coats in the summer. He had an aesthetic goddamn it, and he was not going to let something as trivial as a heat stroke get in the way. He supposed he kind of brought it onto himself when he decided to be the only art major in this prestigious university.

He wondered how long was he able to google science things like, what is something other than mitochondria, until his father realizes that he was not majoring in biology and rocket physics and whatever the fuck he said – something. He hoped his roommate was majoring in one of those things and that they were gracious enough to let Alvis bring home for Christmas (just to, y’know – solidify the lie.) He hoped his roommate wasn’t a total bore either – or had terrible taste in fashion.

When his roommate came through the door, Alvis felt himself pleasantly surprised at least.

Alvis’ first thought was: this was definitely a person that his dad wanted Alvis to be. Tall, extremely attractive to the point it was intimidating and reeking of testosterone. He had blinding platinum blond hair to the point of whiteness which looked even paler when it curled around his dark, tanned cheekbones. His eyes were so blue under those white, dandelion fluff eyelashes like lakes hidden deep within mountain trails. Despite probably being a huge nerd (only huge nerds could get into this university) and also incredibly rich, he was built under his white dress shirt by the way it clung to his biceps.

Alvis thought he would feel hatred or perhaps jealousy. Instead, he felt – well, perhaps those were the hormones talking. He didn’t let anything show though and glanced back down to his book, flipping the page despite losing his spot and not even bothered to read anymore.

“Are you my roommate?” He had a distinctly posh, British accent. His voice was cute – kind of high actually, and boyish.

Alvis was tempted to make some sort of snarky remark, because no, of course not – he was a thief because clearly thieves lounged comfortably on plush mattresses while reading “How to Win Friends & Influence People.”

“Yes, I believe I am.” He sets aside his ironic self-help book and slid off the bed to properly greet him. Big mistake: oh man, he was huge. Alvis had a Calvin Klein model in his dorm room. “My name is Alvis. It’s nice to meet you.” He held out a hand, looking at him expectedly.

Luckily, he didn’t have the brains of a Calvin Klein model (confirmed: big nerd) and he shook his hand. His grip was firm and his hand felt warm in Alvis’. “Kallian Antiqua. It’s nice to finally meet you as well.”

Note: Calvin Klein model (alias: Kallian Antiqua) was kind of cute when he smiled. Kind of.

“Do you need any help with moving your things?” He asked, half-hoping he said yes and he got to talk to him more but also half-hoping he said no because Alvis has probably went to the gym in his local neighbourhood twice in his life and the second time he was sent to the hospital after getting promptly punched in the face by some gym rat. (Alvis was completely innocent; the gym rat had asked what Alvis was looking at and Alvis had replied: “Why, your disgusting acne and lack of proper skincare of course.” Alvis was not a liar; Sophia was a good woman from a good family and had raised him well.)

“Oh, it’s fine. I’ve got everything with me in the hall actually – I can handle it from here.” Half-relieved, Alvis returned to his book as Kallian began to lug in all his belongings in two very large suitcases. Alvis had noticed (while he peeked his eyes just over the rim of his novel) that Kallian’s closet only consisted of expensive yet all similar looking clothes, workout clothes and suits. He also brought two picture frames: one with a girl and a family photo.

Alvis pleaded to every single god he knows: Please, please, let him not be straight. God, if you love me, if you love me – then do this one thing for me.

Curiously, he slinked over to where he had placed the two photos on the desk. He picks up the family photo first – it was the photo that Kallian looked the happiest in. Kallian was holding a small girl in her arms with the same platinum hair and eyes with a middle-aged woman with dark skin and equally dark hair – Kallian had no resemblance to her at all. They were all smiling. “Is this your family?”

He had jumped, not realizing that Alvis had gotten a hold of his possessions as he still organized his things. “I – yeah. My mother and my sister.”

Alvis hummed. “Cute.” He didn’t mention anything about the absence of a father or the clear dissimilarities between the siblings and the mother.

He placed it back to its spot and then directed his attention to what seemed like a phone picture printed into an actual photo. It was Kallian and a girl – maybe a few years younger than her – with intense eye makeup and platinum hair with dyed pink tips. They had the same cold, piercing gaze with matching blue eyes but she looked as if she bar-hopped on weekdays and rode a motorbike. She didn’t really seem like his taste – but Alvis only knew him from a five minute impression.

“Who is she? She’s beautiful.” At the last words, Kallian stiffened up. Interesting. “A girlfriend back home, perhaps?”

 Then Kallian began growing extremely red and a blush never looked so adorable on a full-grown man. “N-No! Of course not! I-I d-don’t have a girlfriend – she’s my younger sister!”

Thank you God. (Okay, maybe him not having a girlfriend doesn’t really mean anything but he’s a man with great legs for jumping to conclusions.)

Alvis was smiling now and wow – he should not be so relieved to hear that, get a grip. “Aha, I only tease.” He reassured. “The same one in the other picture?”

Kallian had seemed to come down from his flushed state and sat down next to Alvis, the mattress shifting under their weight. He took the frame of him and his sister in his hand, his hands taking a hold of it gently. “No, I have two sisters. This is Tyrea – she’s only younger than me by a few years. Melia is fifteen.”

“Do you get along?” Alvis asked. Now that he thought about it, the idea of Kallian and Tyrea being related was an unsurprising conclusion. They were beautiful, naturally regal, and intimidatingly cold with hair and eyes like glaciers in the sea but skin that looked as if it was kissed by sun gods. They only talked to each other because they were above everybody else.

Perhaps Alvis should be more grateful that he wasn’t stepped on when he walked through that door.

Kallian chuckled. It was a lower sound, almost raspy and pleasant. “I get along with Melia just fine. Tyrea and I get along as much as a brother and sister can, I suppose.” He said it with a shrug as if he expected Alvis to understand.

“Do you have any siblings, Alvis?”

Alvis smiled. “No, I’m an only child with two parents. It’s only been myself and them.”

Kallian nodded, and didn’t say anything else. Alvis hoped that it was out of politeness and that the strain in his voice wasn’t noticeable enough for Kallian to hear.

To lighten the mood, he daringly placed his hand on top of his. Kallian’s head shot up and he looked at him, questions floating in the warm blues of his irises.

“But now it looks like it’s just us.”

_

Okay, perhaps he lied a little bit. It was him, Alvis and whoever Alvis decided to have over to their dorm that day.

Kallian seemed to have gotten used to the strange impromptu boys that Alvis would bring – and he hasn’t commented on it yet. Alvis wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or worried by his lack of response to the situation. Kallian would just stare at the two of them before grabbing his jacket from the chair and leaving. He wouldn’t return until the next day, in the afternoon, after he was sure that it was just Alvis again.

Alvis felt guilty – surely Kallian didn’t sign up for two roommates instead of one. Or to be kicked out of his room and forced to perhaps sleep on his friend’s couch, day after day. One morning at breakfast, Alvis decided to be the brave one and confront him about it.

“So,” he started. “Where do you stay?”

Kallian was sipping his god-awful black coffee and skimming over some highlighted notes. If Kallian wasn’t at the gym, he was studying. Alvis had learned very quickly that his assumption was right about Kallian being a big nerd – but it seems as if he underestimated his geekiness because dear god, Kallian was _so nerdy_. He had been going to this university for a few years now, only getting a dorm this year – and had decided to become a law and a business major at the same time. Alvis was certain that Kallian didn’t even have to go to the gym from all those heavy law and business books he carried in his school bag.

“What do you mean?” He asked, not looking up from his papers.

Alvis tapped his fingernails against the coffee shop, convincing Kallian to come with him this morning. It was busy with many students working on last-minute assignments or chatting with friends. “Where do you sleep when you’re not at the dorms? A friend’s couch, maybe?”

Kallian looked up from his papers and scrunched his nose in what could’ve been disgust. Like, the idea of ever sleeping on anything other than a king-sized deluxe bamboo mattress was ridiculous and unheard of. “I call my father’s secretary to send a limousine over and drive me to my family home downtown.”

Okay, Alvis didn’t feel very bad anymore. “That seems very unnecessary.”

Kallian blinked. “Where else do you expect me to go?”

“…Does it bother you?” Alvis asked. _Does it bother you that I bring home a stranger nearly every other day? Does it bother you that it’s a different person every time and all of them are male?_ He knew that Kallian was not the type to yell or complain about something – but he feared it all the same.

Kallian’s gaze softened and he placed his drink down. “…No. It’s – apart of you, isn’t it? I can’t ask you to change that for me.”

“Really?” He stared at him and he saw that Kallian visibly flinched. “Because – it seems like it does. And – and, maybe we can talk to the school or something. Give you a better roommate – one’s that straight, doesn’t lie to their parents and doesn’t kick you out of your dorm room all the time.”

Kallian bit his lip and – he looked hurt. His mouth had folded into a straight line and he looked like he wanted to fold into himself. This wasn’t the Kallian Antiqua that Alvis knew. “I – I apologize if any of my actions came off as hurtful or – homophobic, but, please believe me when I say I want to continue being your roommate. Yes, I do wish that I could sleep in my bed more and you make a man wonder how many gay blond boys are in this city – but that is who you are. I never wanted to make you feel bad about something you can’t change.”

The background noise of the coffee shop has increased and people were pushing, talking, laughing – and Kallian looked like a puppy who had just been kicked. Alvis vaguely thought about all the other times he had this conversation with other people – how they reacted, how they kind of stared at him in disbelief or disgust or even pity. He thought about how quickly he was able to cut those people out of his life. Then, he thought about cutting Kallian out of his life. And then, it seemed the answer was simple enough.

“Do you want me to introduce you to some? I have a list.” Alvis grinned, enjoying the way Kallian blushed and shifted but his overall expression screamed relief.

He coughed. “I-I’m fine.”

“Suit yourself.”

_

The months flew by and now the majority of the students were packing their things to return home for Christmas break. Alvis’ mother called him and told him that she and her father were going to be busy for weeks up until Christmas so he had a few weeks to himself until he had to confront his parents about no, he is not majoring in science and yes, he’s an art major and still queer.

However, Alvis didn’t let them ruin his holiday spirit. In fact, he had created an entire schedule filled with Netflix and a Spotify playlist of Christmas songs for him and Kallian for the past few weeks. The thought of Kallian covered in baking powder, of him biting into a soft snowman-shaped cookie, and maybe even if Alvis caught him, humming carols to himself was delightful. That was until Kallian pulled out a giant suitcase from his closet and began packing.

“You’re going where?” He asked again, holding grocery bags filled with Betty Crocker mixing bags and bowls and some self-indulgent dollar store candy canes.

“Arizona. I’m staying with my mother and Melia on their farm.”

Alvis cocked his head. He was still upset that Kallian had decided to abandon him during the holidays but still curious enough to ask. ”You live on a farm?”

Kallian sighed. “Melia’s mother is my step-mother. She married my father, Sorean Antiqua, but didn’t want Melia to have the pressure of having a big-time business CEO as a father so she moved to a small town in Arizona with Melia, my half-sister.” Alvis could read in-between the lines: his step-mother didn’t want Melia to grow up to be like Kallian.

“Where were you raised then?”

“London. My father has many vacation homes throughout the world however – like here, in New York, but also Los Angeles, Sans Francisco, Vancouver, Honolulu, Tokyo and Seoul.” He said it so casually like he hadn’t named a couple of the most expensive and biggest cities to live in the entire world.

Kallian was a constant reminder that Alvis hated rich people. He thought that the idea of a snooty, rich man going to spend two weeks on a farm would make him laugh. Except, it wasn’t funny at all because Kallian wasn’t just a snooty, rich man and Alvis was going to spend his Christmas break alone.

“When will you be back?” He asked, setting the bags down beside his bed. They slumped over pathetically. He forced himself to keep his voice as light and charismatic as possible.

“January 1st.”

The farm is even taking away Alvis’ chance to get Kallian drunk off his ass.

“Well, don’t have too much fun herding chickens without me. I’ll be here, with heating, and Netflix while you’re away from any sort of civilation or modern ideas of fun.” Alvis said at last, plopping down on his bed. Shouldn’t the idea of a free room for a few weeks excite him? He could finally play his music as loud as he wants – and his company can be as loud as they want.

Alvis didn’t realize that he fell asleep to the sounds of Kallian packing his things until he was gone.

_

December 24th

[12:00am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ : merry christmas you filthy animal

[12:01am] Kallian Antiqua: What does that mean?

[12:01am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ : ohmygod

[12:01am] Kallian Antiqua: I’m joking.

[12:01am] Kallian Antiqua: I watch Home Alone with Melia every year.

[12:01am] Kallian Antiqua: J

[12:02am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ : Please use emojis. That smiley face is just scary.

[12:03am] Kallian Antiqua: I think your use of proper grammar while texting is more unnerving.

[12:05am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ : FU CU CC Y  U UOU

 December 25th

[9:36am] Kallian Antiqua: Merry Christmas, Alvis!

[9:36am] Kallian Antiqua: Photo was Sent.

[10:15am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡: gdi kalian stop sending me cute DOMESTIC PH OTOS

[11:20am] Kallian Antiqua: You don’t like them?

[11:24am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡: no, i said they’re cute. you’re cute.

[12:00pm] Kallian Antiqua: Thank you.

January 1st

[12:00am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  happy wne arey kallni!!a

[12:00am] Kallian Antiqua: Alvis?

[12:03am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  im drunk

[12:03am] Kallian Antiqua: Are you okay?

[12:04am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  ye i am

[12:06am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  f IN NE

[12:06am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  ilm iat home by myeslf. yi durank by myslf.e

[12:06am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  iam lon ely

[12:08am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  oi miss zyou!! i dmiss yoiur nice aroms anpd FACE

[12:10am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  ai want to ksis yuou

[12:12am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  qdo you work out you look like you wv ork ou t

[12:14am] Kallian Antiqua: You’re drunk.

[12:16am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  yeah hhaHA! drunk on hyour lofve

[12:17am] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  ki ss me prvetty byOY

[12:18am] Kallian Antiqua: Go to sleep, Alvis.

January 1st.

Alvis woke up with arguably, the worst hangover in history. Nothing could beat this hangover – it was the kind of hangover that may be the end of Alvis’ drinking days. He hoped to at least wake up with some unfamiliar attractive company in his bed but nope, he was surrounded by depressing packs of cheap liquor. He groaned pitifully into his pillow, but realized that was a bad idea because now he wanted to throw up.

“You’re awake.”

Oh great, he’s dead. God is here to unleash his holy wrath upon his queer ass.

“It’s Kallian.”

He might’ve said that last part out-loud. Alvis thought briefly that wow, he must’ve been really drunk if he drove all the way to Arizona – but then he remembered. Kallian was back from his wonderfully domestic and loving Christmas Break today, and Alvis got drunk the night before. That was why he was drinking the first place. He was sure there was some deeper meaning under it but if he thought any harder, he was going to hurl all over Kallian: his very familiar and very attractive company, not in his bed.

“What happened last night?” He must’ve done at least one thing incredibly embarrassing while that drunk - and he expected Kallian to go on a rant of how drinking is bad for your health, and it’s irresponsible, and you should’ve been more careful but instead he was quiet.

“You don’t remember anything?” Kallian asked. Alvis’ head was still buried in the pillow but he could imagine the furrow in his brow and blue eyes blinking at him in disbelief. He missed that – but maybe it was the alcohol making him sentimental.

“I think I blacked out around two in the morning.” He admitted into the pillowcase.

More silence. Then the weight of the bed shifted, and Kallian must’ve been sitting on it earlier. How long has he been here? “Nothing happened. Drink your fluids.”

Even with his whole face in the pillow, Alvis could tell he was lying. Kallian was honest even if he tried so hard to be incredibly stoic and uncaring, it showed in every action he did. It was one of his more endearing traits. And yet, Alvis knew that Kallian wouldn’t lie unless he was doing it for Alvis’ own good.

So, he rose up from the sheets and graciously took the cup of water that was given.

_

Alvis firmly believed in the saying: New Year, New Me, which included new clothes and a new phone, freshly purged from last year’s contacts and conversations.

Although he couldn’t get out of his head that strange look Kallian gave him when he threw away his old phone.

_

“Alvis?”

He glanced up from his coffee cup - it had gotten cold from waiting, he had wanted to make a toast with the man with pretty green eyes – and saw Kallian staring at him with his own drink. It was late February, still cold enough to leave frost on windows and for couples to cuddle up together near the fireplace – Kallian’s nose and ears were still red outside. He wore a lovely teal scarf and a thick, white trench-coat.

“What are you doing? I thought – you told me you were on a date.” He said, sliding in the front seat of the booth.

That made Alvis chuckle to himself, sipping slowly. Even the amount of sugar and cream in the liquid couldn’t get the bitter taste out of his mouth. “I was. My date wasn’t.” He dug into his pockets and pulled out two movie tickets for some cheesy romance, scheduled at 3:45pm. It was 3:40pm. The black text that spelled out a title filled with words of love and hope – it was mocking.

“Sorry for wasting your money.” Alvis apologized with a sheepish grin. The tickets were a gift after all from Kallian, as an apology for – interrupting the two of them. It was okay – Alvis will laugh this off one day, like he does with everything in life. Never stay in one place, get attached – keep moving, loving, dancing.

Kallian didn’t smile though. He was staring at the tickets in his hand, a thoughtful expression across his features. Alvis didn’t quite believe what happened in the next few moments – he stood up, took the tickets from his grasp and began walking away.

“Kallian? Wait – Kallian!” He scrambled to grab his own things and jacket, bundled up in his arms to follow him out the door. A cold gust of wind hit him in the face once outside the warm café but Kallian was walking determinedly down the snowy sidewalk, the crowd of people almost seeming to part for him.

Alvis shook his head, running after him – cold sleet seeping through his boots and snow getting in his styled hair. It took a lot of pushing and shoving until he reached him, and Kallian didn’t even sneak a glance at him. “Where are you going?”

“To the movies.” He replied.

“The movie’s starting in two minutes!” Alvis protested. Do rich people even watch movies? It seemed too mundane for somebody like Kallian. “We’ll never make it – let’s just - “

“I’m not abandoning you, Alvis.” He interrupted and oh – they had no time, the snow was getting heavier and his own thin jacket wasn’t enough to stop the numbing in the fingers but Alvis spared a moment to stop and stare at Kallian.

Kallian stopped too and he – looked genuinely angry. Alvis had looks of pity whenever he told people of his failed dates but never had somebody looked so furious. Among the vicious winter winds, the white snow a near identical colour to his platinum mane and narrow eyebrows, he resembled an ice statue.

 “You are incredible and amazing and all these wonderful things – and whoever abandoned you, you don’t need them, okay?” And it all came flooding out, a crashing river of overwhelming emotion. Those walking by could hear every single word, and he realized that Kallian wanted them to hear.

“You’re Alvis, you’ve never needed anybody – you’re the only person I know that can get into one of the best universities in the country as an art major because their father is a terrible man who never asked for an artistic son but you’re so much smarter than you think you are, and you’re smart enough to pursue what you love and instead of what others want you to do.”

“You’re good at everything you do and you’re so happy when you do it too – and the sooner you realize you don’t deserve the people you settle with, the sooner you realize that you are the best thing that will happen in that sorry man’s life, you’ll be able to do whatever you want. You can do anything you want, Alvis. You taught me that – there’s always a way. The movie theatre is at least fifteen minutes away, we’re in a middle of a snowstorm in New York with no taxi but I am not giving up on you.”

Kallian grabbed Alvis’ frozen fingers and ran. They ran through traffic, people, pets: they ran until Alvis couldn’t feel his face and lungs, they ran until he actually fell in the snow and Kallian had to carry him the rest of the way there.

They were eight minutes late. Another five was spent with Kallian trying to warm up Alvis inside while in his white trench coat that he had somehow took off, wrapped him in and proceeded to carry on the way here. They found empty seats in the small movie theatre, soaked and miserable, trying to piece together plot points they’ve missed on the big screen but Alvis couldn’t help but waste another twenty, looking at Kallian.

_

“I think we should break up.”

Matthew stared at him – he had cute, blond hair that fell in his green eyes. He didn’t look very upset at Alvis’ proclaimation, in fact, it looked like he seemed surprised that it took this long for him to say it. That look worried Alvis. “Why?”

“It’s not you, it’s me.” He said and then cringed. Okay, that was really bad. “I mean – I like somebody else.”

“Is it your roommate?”

Damn.

Matthew laughed. It was supposed to be the laugh that had girls swooning and had everybody laughing along with him. It was charming, it was pretty – but it wasn’t the one that Alvis wanted to hear the most.

“It’s okay, I knew for a long time.” Matthew grinned. “You know, you think you’re an enigma. You think you’ve got everybody wrapped around your little finger and you act like you know how everything is going to play out in your little game, but when you end up becoming a player instead of an observer, you have no idea what to do, do you?”

Alvis bit his lip and tapped his fingernails against the wooden table. They were at the same café that he was at with Kallian, when he told Alvis that he would never want him to change for him and that he was perfect the way he was. It was the day that Alvis realized that he didn’t want Kallian to be another nameless face.

His green eyes twinkled. “You’re a go-getter. Control your own fate, Alvis. You deserve to be happy.”

_

It was Saturday morning, which meant that Kallian woke up at six, gone to the gym and come back to study. Alvis who was slightly more laidback, has woken up at nearly noon to the sound of music. It was very quiet compared to Alvis who refused to lower the volume to anything below seventy percent but yes, it was definitely music and it wasn’t classical?

Yes, that was definitely pop music – and that was definitely Kallian’s voice that was humming along. He was off-key half of the time but it was clear that Kallian was trying to be on-key which was endearing. He blinked his eyes open – his roommate seemed to have opened the windows already, letting in the early spring sunshine that painted their home together a golden colour.

Kallian’s back was turned to him, wiping down his desk with a wet cloth so carefully that he must’ve thought that Alvis was still sleeping. And yes, Alvis could announce his presence with an over exaggerated yawn but there was something very domestic to waking up to the sounds of quiet millennium pop music and watching the constant stiff posture in Kallian’s shoulders relax for once.

He was actually swaying his hips to the music now, and yeah, he definitely didn’t want to tell him he was awake now. Since when could Kallian dance? He supposed the real question was – why did Kallian never tell him that he could dance well? Imagine all the dance clubs they could’ve gone to by now, but even alone in his bedroom, there was a hesitant and almost shy way when he moved.

Alvis may have been watching for minutes, watching Kallian hum and shuffle his way through spring cleaning. Cleaning what is beyond Alvis – he was a neat freak who will shriek if Alvis even throws a piece of clothing on the floor near his side – but the image of waking up to this every day wasn’t bad at all.

“A-Alvis!” The wet cloth in his hand dropped to the floor, and Kallian jumped back into the desk with a loud slam. If Alvis wasn’t awake before, he was sure that he’d have woken up from that. “How long – have you been awake for?”

He shrugged, sitting up casually in his bed; not quite wanting to get out just yet. “A few minutes. I see you’ve already started spring cleaning.”

He picked up the cloth from the ground to resume cleaning. He had stopped singing and dancing altogether, as well as immediately turned off the music. There was only the squeak of the towel against the glass table, Kallian furiously rubbing at the surface while blushing. “Yes, well, I believe that during my busy schedule that I have neglected the mess in my room. I thought that it would be productive to clean before I left.”

Alvis hummed. “Always a busy man, Kallian Antiqua.”

There was art in museums that were paid less attention than the table that Kallian was polishing.

Unable to stand the thick silence and the clear elephant in the room, Alvis gently prompted: “You have a nice voice.”

“Do you tell all the cute boys that?” He asked, and wow – if the tables have turned any faster, they would’ve fallen.

“Only the ones I want to spend time with.” Alvis replied, waving a hand up in the air vaguely.

“Oh.” He looked startled and embarrassed, like a deer caught in the headlights.

Alvis finally sat up in his bed, automatically combing his hands through his bed-hair that was mostly definitely a wreck. “Has nobody told you that you were attractive before?”

He blushed, even his ears going red. “W-Well, no. Not really. I’ve – never been in a relationship my whole life.” You would think that more people would be scrambling over to get with a rich and attractive male – and yes, Alvis has seen the admiring looks even if Kallian doesn’t. A grown man who hasn’t had his first kiss yet, it was so pure and sweet that Alvis didn’t have the heart to tease him about it.

“Too busy, or just not interested?”

Kallian shook his head. “I wouldn’t wish to burden anybody with my busy schedule and inability to go out together. I would only let them down.”

He could feel the self-deprecation that seeped through the words like sludge. It was ugly, and somebody as beautiful as him didn’t deserve ugly emotions like that. “Well, I don’t find it a burden.” Alvis said, probably quickly.

Noon light poured in even heavier now, and it made Kallian’s eyes resemble a summer ocean rather than a frozen lake. His mouth curled into a tiny smile. “Yes, and I suppose that’s why we work so well together. I can’t help but never feel lonely when I am with you.”

“Maybe that’s why I never felt the need to search for others. Your company is really all I need.”

Alvis’ heart clumsily tripped up in his chest, and he laughed. His pulse was so loud in his ears and in his throat, he hoped that his giggling would muffle it all to the bottom of his stomach.

“Kallian Antiqua, are you flirting with me?” There was maybe a bit too much eyebrow wiggling to be appropriate with this question.

He scoffed instead, shaking his head like some disappointed parent. “Perhaps that is the downside of spending majority of my personal time with somebody such as you. Your traits are – contagious.”

“Are you saying that you’ve caught my affections?” Alvis grinned.

He rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide the smile from Alvis.

_

[2:35pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡: kallian

[2:38pm] Kallian Antiqua: Yes?

[2:38pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  what do you do when you like somebody

[2:38pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡: LIKE LIKE

[2:40pm] Kallian Antiqua: Shouldn’t you know more about this than me? It’s not as if you’re inexperienced, and most you like are already infatuated with you already.

[2:42pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  THAT’S THE PROBLEM

[2:43pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  i don’t think he likes me that way

[2:45pm] Kallian Antiqua: Why not?

[2:46pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡: I DON’T KNOW

[2:47pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  he’s different from all the other guys i’ve been with

[2:48pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  and uh I want this to actually last??? He really means a lot to me and we’re good friends already so I don’t want to ruin that with THIS

[2:50pm] Kallian Antiqua: Well, I think that if he really cared about the friendship that he wouldn’t let something like this ruin the friendship.

[2:51pm] Kallian Antiqua: You should tell him your true feelings.

[2:52pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  BE MORE SPECIFIC

[2:54pm] Kallian Antiqua: Um, perhaps something like: Truthfully, I’ve thought about this for a long time and admired you for an even longer time. I want to take our relationship further. Do you want to be my boyfriend?

[2:56pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  jesus christ kallian

[2:57pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  you make it sound like a marriage proposal do you actually want me to say that

[2:59pm] Kallian Antiqua: You asked for my opinion!

[3:00pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  alright fine

[3:03pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡: Truthfully, I’ve thought about this for a long time and admired you for an even longer time. I want to take our relationship further. Do you want to be my boyfriend?

[3:04pm] Kallian Antiqua: See? Not very hard was it.

[3:05pm] Kallian Antiqua: Now, you should tell him.

[3:05pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  i just did

[3:06pm] Kallian Antiqua: Oh! How did it go?

[3:07pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  ohmygod

[3:08pm] Kallian Antiqua: What?

[3:09pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  NEVER MIND

[3:10pm] aruvisu ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡:  FIGURE IT OUT ON YOUR OWN I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE

_

Exam season was over.

Alvis barely survived (fuck people who thought being an art major was easy, ART IS HARD OKAY) but if anybody deserved a reward, it was Kallian Antiqua who, when returning from his last (and eighth) final exam, passed out on their dorm room floor for more than twenty four hours.

Alvis felt that most of exam season was worrying over Kallian’s health and making sure he drank enough water, ate enough food and also showered. He’s probably seen Kallian sleep at his bed once and that was because he forced him to, like the good roommate he was. Once, Alvis gave him an apple to snack on. Kallian took the fruit without looking, ate one bite and replied: “Thank you for dinner.”

It was terrifying.

They were both alive though, and the entire campus was celebrating with lots of booze and music and dancing. Alvis was tempted to join, but glanced over to his friend who was staring at his phone with a strange look on his face.

“What are you looking at, Kallian?”

Few seconds of silence, before he looked up with that peculiar look still written on his face. “Nothing.” He pocketed his phone. “Do you want to go out for dinner?”

Alvis wanted to point out that it was way too late for dinner but it seemed that Kallian’s sense of time has been ruined forever. And, his heart still did pathetically quicken up whenever he spoke to him so of course, he’ll say yes. “Sure, let me grab my things and we can go.”

Kallian smiled. “Perfect.”

 _

The restaurant they went to was actually a local restaurant on the more indie side of the city. It was modest and aesthetically pleasing with glass windows, with a sitting area outside. Instead of bright neon lights, they chose to string up fairy lights all over the trees out front and the windows.

Kallian seemed to have planned this all out, with reservations for two and a nice waitress guiding them out to sit outside. The air was warm, and the lighting made Kallian look very soft among the fairy lights’ yellow bulbs. He was wearing a soft sweater and jeans instead of his regular button-ups and dress pants.

“What are you smiling about?” Kallian asked, looking up from his menu obliviously.

Alvis shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

Kallian ordered the soup with bread, while he got some pasta for himself. The food came rather quickly, and he thoroughly enjoyed all the spices in the sauce as well as the noodle. They didn’t talk much but they didn’t have to. Alvis felt no tension in his shoulders or between them. It was refreshing.

“Alvis.”

They were both full, and Alvis had begun poking at his food absentmindedly. “Hm?”

“Alvis. Look at me.”

He glanced up from his food. Kallian bit his lip, and his hair looked a bit more disheveled than before – as if he ran his hands through it multiple times. That earlier comfortable atmosphere was gone, replaced with nervous energy.

“…I – um…I think I figured out who you like.”

Alvis stared. He thought of when this would happen, how he would take it but now that it was here (too soon), he didn’t know what to say. Which was fine because then Kallian began to ramble, words falling out of his mouth before he could catch them.

“And-and, I wasn’t sure how to take it at first. I mean, I’m awkward and you’re – gorgeous and I don’t know how to do anything really. And, I – I never was upset that you slept around so much and I never meant to hurt you but I did and I can never forgive myself for that. I was only upset because, that part of me, my sexuality – it’s been supressed for so long and I couldn’t accept myself for so long. And I think, you showed me that there’s nothing wrong with being yourself. You taught me to accept myself even if others don’t.”

“I really like you. I really, really like you and I’m sorry I’m so awkward and it took so long for me to figure out. I think I liked you ever since you sent that drunk text message on New Year’s. You don’t remember that but it was really embarrassing. And, uh – I – also got you flowers.”

 And then, from behind his back, he pulled out a huge bouquet. It was probably the size of Alvis – and Kallian hid behind the flowers, one blue eye peeking behind a rose. His blush blended in with its’ red petals.

“So, um – can I kiss you?”

Alvis laughed. He laughed and laughed, accepting the bouquet with open arms. Kallian was laughing too and yes, those giggles, that voice – it was the one he wanted to hear for so long. They were giggling so hard that it was difficult to kiss each other without grinning. His lips were so soft and fit so perfectly against his own mouth that it felt almost like a dream.

When they parted, they still remained close with foreheads touching. Hearts lighter than they’ve ever been, filled with love and hope.

“So, am I blond enough for you?” Kallian grinned.

Alvis hummed. “We can work on it.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it this far i love you


End file.
